Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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