Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
