so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
