I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
