Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
