New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
