My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
