I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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