are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
