man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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