this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
