Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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(786): View more from Florida

my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.

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(409): View more from Texas

Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.

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(206): View more from Washington

the night ended with taco bell and tears

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(314): View more from Missouri

I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.

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