I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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