that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
