One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
