but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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