She's JV to your varsity
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
