She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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