i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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