OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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