Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
