is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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