Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
