Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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