It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
are you so shy because you have an std?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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