I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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