Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
