I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
