omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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