i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
