Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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