Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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