chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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