omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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