I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
