you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
