I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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