Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize