ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
