Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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