Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
