So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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