whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
