I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
