We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
