Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it's like iHOP with fire
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
