In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
