I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
