Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
