Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i think my cat just said my name.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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