that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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