He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize