it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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