dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
