I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
