if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
