i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
