shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so explain again why im purple
no
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
