her vagine was all disorganized.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
