i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Barsexuality is the new black.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
