He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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