If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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