and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
