I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize