Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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