I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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