Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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