I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
