how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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