Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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