At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
