Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
